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I wasbusy at work as well, so I relied on Jan who told me that she saw Victoragain headed out of town at the same time on the Tuesday that time.I had no option, I took the next week off and decided to follow himwhenever he left the office. Sure enough, on Tuesday he drove off withLexie in the car so I followed at a discrete distance. It was onlyabout a ten or fifteen minute drive when, to my horror, he drove into amotel. It had a restaurant, so I left my car out of the way round thecorner and went to sit with a coffee in a corner behind an extrordinarlylarge potted fern so I could see and not be seen.At just after twelve they entered the restaurant with another couple,sitting, smiling and chatting to each other in a quite carefree fashion.Lexie definitely looked radiant and her make up was smudged, repairingher lipstick was the first thing she did when she sat down. I was askedif I wanted to eat, but I couldn't face anything. It seemed obviousthat my husband was one of a couple. I asked, “So now what? Is it over between us?”He raised his eyebrow and asked, “Us?”I chuckled and clarified the question, “Between me and Lea! You know what the hell I meant!”He looked at me for a moment and asked, “Do you want it to be?”I’m not certain. A minute ago, seeing the emotions in my wife’s eyes, that had hurt. I thought it was over then. More to the point I realized that it never really was. She never loved me. But I guess I’m not through being stupid. You don’t stop loving someone who meant everything to you just like that. Now that I’ve calmed down and the blood has returned to my brain I’m not so sure.I finally answered, “I did a minute ago. But the truth is, I miss being in love with her. At least I think that’s what I’m feeling. But what am I supposed to do, Jim? Go through life being someone I’m not? I never set out to be the ideal husband for a feminist. I was treating Lea the way I thought she deserved to be treated, like an equal. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to.
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